By the first few weeks of school, the newness starts to wear off. Classroom expectations increase, the schedule begins moving a little faster, and everyone is getting tired. This is often when teachers begin noticing more children covering their ears, leaving activities, dropping to the floor, pushing materials away, crying, or having a harder time making it through parts of the day.
When that happens, it's natural to wonder what's going on. Instead of immediately focusing on how to stop what we're seeing, though, I want us to get curious about what the child's nervous system might be communicating.
We're in Week 3 of our Back to School Foundations series. So far, we've talked about what needs to be in place before teaching and why authentic connection matters. Now we're moving into regulation because a child doesn't leave their nervous system at the door when learning begins. Regulation is part of what makes learning accessible in the first place.
Regulation Doesn't Mean Calm, Quiet, and Still
One of the biggest shifts we can make is changing how we think about regulation. A regulated child isn't necessarily a child who sits quietly, keeps their body still, and looks ready to learn in the way we've traditionally defined it.
Movement may actually help an autistic child stay regulated. Another child might rock, hum, stand instead of sit, hold a fidget, wear headphones, or spend a few minutes away from the group. Those actions don't automatically tell us that the child isn't ready to participate. In many cases, they're part of how the child accesses participation.
Supporting regulation means helping a child's nervous system get what it needs to feel safe and access the environment. Since every nervous system is different, those supports will look different from child to child.
Start With the Classroom Environment
Before asking a child to change what they're doing, take a look around the room. Preschool classrooms can include bright lights, constant voices, chairs scraping across the floor, music playing, children moving in every direction, colorful displays, toys making noise, and dozens of unpredictable sounds throughout the day.
That's a lot of sensory information to process.
Looking at the environment from the children's perspective can help us identify places where small adjustments may reduce unnecessary stress. Perhaps a quieter area could remain available throughout the day, or the lighting could be softened in part of the room. Some children may benefit from access to noise-reducing headphones, while others need a place where they can move their bodies safely.
You don't have to completely redesign your classroom. Instead, begin noticing where the environment may be asking more from a child's nervous system than it can comfortably manage. Sometimes the most helpful regulation strategy isn't something we add for the child; it's something we adjust around them.
Build Regulation Supports Into the Day
Regulation support shouldn't only appear once a child is already overwhelmed. When we know what helps a child stay regulated, we can proactively build access to those supports throughout the day.
A child who needs movement may benefit from regular opportunities to move instead of waiting until sitting becomes impossible. During circle time, another child might participate more comfortably while standing nearby, using flexible seating, holding a fidget, or joining for a shorter period. Transitions may become easier when we add a visual countdown, familiar song, transition object, or simple picture showing what comes next.
Pay attention to when regulation becomes more difficult, too. If the end of the day consistently feels hard, consider whether a quieter and more predictable wind-down routine would help. When the same part of the schedule repeatedly creates stress, that's useful information about the environment or expectations.
Proactive support allows us to respond to those patterns before a child's nervous system reaches overload.
Treat Sensory Tools as Supports, Not Rewards
If a child uses headphones, alternative seating, a fidget, movement, or another sensory support to regulate, access to that support shouldn't depend on completing work or following directions first. These tools help children access their environment, which makes them supports rather than rewards.
At the same time, we need to remember that there isn't one collection of sensory tools that works for every autistic child. Movement might help one child regulate while overwhelming another. Some children seek additional sensory input, while others need less. Even commonly used supports such as weighted items won't feel good or helpful to everyone.
Watch the individual child instead of assuming that a tool labeled “sensory” will automatically meet their needs. Notice what they seek out, what they avoid, and what seems to help them feel more comfortable and available for participation. Families and occupational therapists can also provide valuable insight into sensory preferences and supports that have been helpful in other environments.
The goal isn't to have the biggest sensory-tool collection. The goal is to understand the child in front of you.
Remember the Power of Co-Regulation
We can create a beautiful calming space and fill it with wonderful materials, but one of the most important regulation supports in the classroom is still the responsive adult.
Young children don't enter preschool knowing how to independently navigate every big feeling, sensory experience, and unexpected change. Co-regulation happens when a supportive adult helps a child move through those moments. Depending on the child, that may involve sitting nearby, lowering your voice, reducing language, offering a familiar visual, helping create physical space, or simply remaining present.
Supporting a dysregulated child also requires us to pay attention to our own response. When we become louder, talk faster, repeat directions, or show frustration, we're adding more input to a nervous system that's already communicating that something is too much.
Our calm presence doesn't magically make dysregulation disappear, nor should that be the expectation. However, the way we show up can either add pressure to the situation or help reduce it.
Use Less Language During Overwhelming Moments
Adults often start talking more when a child becomes dysregulated. We ask what's wrong, remind them of expectations, repeat directions, encourage them to tell us what they need, or explain what will happen next.
Processing all of that language can be incredibly difficult when a child's nervous system is already working overtime.
Reducing our words can lower some of that demand. A simple “I'm here” may be enough in one moment, while another child may benefit from a familiar visual rather than a repeated verbal direction. Sometimes the best response is to remove unnecessary demands, create space, and give the child time to recover.
Communication remains important during dysregulation, but effective communication doesn't always mean more words from us.
Look for Patterns With Curiosity
When the same challenging moment happens day after day, resist the urge to assume that the child simply doesn't want to participate. Repeated stress gives us information.
Perhaps circle time consistently becomes overwhelming after ten minutes, or transitioning from the playground creates difficulty every afternoon. Lunch may be louder than we realized, and an activity that looks simple to us might require far more sensory, motor, language, or cognitive effort than we understood.
Instead of beginning with, “How do I stop this behavior?” start looking at what happens before it. Consider what the child may be communicating and whether changing the environment, expectation, communication support, or routine could make that moment more accessible.
That shift moves us away from trying to control a child's response and toward understanding what their nervous system needs.
Regulation Is Something We Support Together
Supporting regulation in autistic preschoolers isn't something one teacher needs to figure out alone. Families can often tell us which sounds are difficult, what their child seeks when overwhelmed, and which supports have helped in other settings. Occupational therapists can offer additional insight into sensory needs, while SLPs can help make sure communication remains accessible during stressful moments.
Most importantly, the child will give us information every day. When we slow down enough to notice patterns, honor communication, and adjust the environment, we begin to understand what regulation looks like for that individual child.
Our goal isn't to teach every autistic child to regulate in the way adults expect. It's to create a classroom where individual regulation needs are recognized, respected, and supported so children have greater access to connection, participation, play, and learning.
Listen to This Week's Back to School Foundations Episode
For Week 3 of our Back to School Foundations series, we're chatting all about Supporting Regulation in the Classroom. I intentionally chose this episode for this point in the school year because this is often when the honeymoon period starts wearing off, and regulation needs become much easier to see.
The first three weeks of this series build directly on each other. We started with what needs to be in place before teaching, moved into building authentic connections with autistic students, and now we're looking at how we support their nervous systems throughout the classroom day.
Next week, we'll make things even more practical with my top five favorite visual supports for autistic preschoolers. Those visual supports can help make routines, expectations, communication, and transitions more predictable, which makes them a natural next step in creating an accessible classroom.
Until then, look around your classroom with fresh eyes. Instead of asking how you can get a child to fit into what's already happening, consider what you can change about what's happening to make it more accessible for them.
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