I was lucky enough to meet a young woman named Lindsey and chat with her and her mom. Lindsey is autistic and struggled with things like communication and social interaction as she grew up. She endured bullying and isolation. She is a testament to perseverance. In a word, she’s amazing. Read our conversation below!
Growing Up Autistic
Tara: I was wondering, Lindsey, if you could introduce yourself and tell us who you are.
Lindsey: My name is Lindsey Moreland. I was diagnosed with autism at 28 months old. My parents were given very little hope of what I would become as an adult. They were told that I would never get a job, never go to college, and never drive a car. But I proved them all wrong. I am a full-time employee at Target, an artist, and I drive a car. I am a homeowner with my sister Brittany.
Tara: Okay, so I didn't even know half of that about you. You are amazing. Okay, and Lori, can you tell us about yourself?
Lori: I'm Lori, Lindsey's mom, and also Brittany, who's not here with us today. I am a full time salon owner in my home. I have wonderful clients who have been supportive through all these years of living with Lindsey's story and Britney's story. So Lindsey with autism, Brittany with epilepsy and mental health. My husband Todd and I have been huge supporters of the girls. Back when people were telling us that the girls would never be able to do things, especially Lindsey, I thought to myself “We'll just see about that.” My biggest accomplishment, I feel, is just to keep these girls going and they're just so successful.
Early Diagnosis and Growing Up
Tara: Well, I can see where Lindsey got her can-do attitude. That's wonderful. It sure takes a team and a parent behind you. Lindsey, you said you were diagnosed at 28 months. That's so young. When was the first time you heard the word autism?
Lindsey: I remember being in 7th grade when my mom told me I had autism. School was very hard for me, not just academically, but socially. I struggled with where to sit at lunch, finding partners for projects, and making friends. Autism, to me, meant having no friends and being different.
Tara: Lori, what age was Lindsey when you actually told her she has autism?
Lori: We never really sat down and had a formal conversation. The word was brought up in daily conversation. But it was in 7th grade when Lindsey was struggling and asked why she didn't have friends that I told her she had autism. She was very severe as a child, nonverbal, and had severe tantrums, but I didn't want autism to define her. It was a part of our family, but not our whole story.
Tara: Back at that time, it wasn't openly talked about, and people weren't saying, let the child know so that they can understand that that's their neurotype. That's the way they're wired. It was different back then. You were trying to figure out, find therapies, and all of that kind of stuff to help her.
Lori: Our family was being shamed. We didn't dare go into a restaurant, we couldn't go to a park. We lived like prisoners. It was difficult to go get groceries because Lindsey was not able to walk into a new doorway. Walking over the threshold of a door she would start screaming and flailing all over. So we were a big production everywhere we went. So we just stayed home then because people didn't know autism.
School Experiences
Tara: I think a lot of parents can relate to that. I know a lot of my former students and their families felt like that, too. They'll tag team for outings because it's just too hard for their kids. Then they also feel shame. It's not shame about the child. People misinterpret what some of those meltdowns are.
Lindsey, do you remember any of that time?
Lindsey: I was too young to remember most of it. When I saw videos of myself after the diagnosis, I felt ashamed and hurt about how I acted. But I learned it was part of my autism, and it was never my fault.
Tara: Do you remember anything from elementary school?
Lindsey: In preschool, I loved being by the art easel. I remember wanting to be away from crowds. In elementary, I had some friends, but by middle school, they didn't talk to me anymore. That's when I started to get bullied and ignored.
Dealing With Bullying
Tara: One of the questions I was going to ask you is if you encountered bullying. It's not just the autistic child's job to try to be more typical. It's the typical kid's job also to find ways to relate and be friends with an autistic kid. In elementary school, kids are more naturally compassionate, and kinder overall, but in middle school, not so much. And it sounds like that was your experience.
Lindsey: Yeah, and in high school, it got worse.
Tara: When you encountered bullying, what kind of things?
Lindsey: So I would be the last one chosen for a class partner and no one would sit by me at the lunch in the cafeteria. I would sit alone on the bus and they would make fun of me, and laugh behind my back of the things that I do.
Tara: I'm sorry you went through that. It's unacceptable, especially for those of us that our passion is for helping kids succeed. I wish they could find a way to fix that because that had to affect your mental health over the years. If you're constantly being treated that way, I don't know how you could come out of that without being affected.
Lindsey: And then during that time, I just felt like I did not belong anywhere in this world. I felt like I didn't exist.
Lori: I think it's important to talk about when she came home and said, “I can't be in this class on my own.” It was a crucial class for her independence. It was hard to hear her say she couldn't stay because of a mean girl. As a parent, I regret not intervening, but I didn't want to constantly run to the teacher. We have many educators in the family, and I respect their challenges. I thought Lindsey needed to handle it herself, but she ended up leaving the class because of the daily bullying. She couldn't fully express how bad it was until later, even when we started writing our family story. I would have handled it differently if I had known. But what can you do? You just move forward.
Tara: You feel like it was hard to express the extent of it, Lindsey?
Lindsey: Yeah
Tara: I'm so glad you're through those years, because those can be really hard for kids, those middle and high school years. What kind of things helped you when you were growing up?
Helpful Resources for Managing Autism
Lindsey: Well, starting at a very young age, after being diagnosed, I went through therapy. I had speech and occupational therapy. I've also grew up with stomach ache issues, so I had to be on a gluten free diet, and I realized that diet helped change my behavior.
Tara: Oh, wow. Did you start a gluten free diet just to see?
Lori: Yes. A big part of that is I have celiac disease. We probably would have never done the diet had it not been for that. Our family doctor really encouraged us to get her tested, due to the fact that I have it. Sure enough, it came back that she has celiac, and that was life changing. The tantrums just went away. She was ten years old, and all of a sudden, the tantrums just subsided. Her language got better and she just calmed down.
Transition to Employment
Tara: What was the transition like for you to go from the school setting to an employment setting?
Lindsey: Huge transition. My mom thought it would be a good idea for me to start employment at a very young age. So in junior year of high school, I worked at my first job at a hotel. I was a housekeeper first and made beds.
Then from high school I went to college. It didn't go as well as I hoped for because I didn't have friends. I would be living with anxiety almost every day. I'd be worrying and failing classes. I studied all the time. So I just thought for my health purposes, I should take a break from college and go to employment.
I wasn't ready at that time, so I volunteered for a year at my aunt's elementary school and two other elementary schools. I thought it'd be really fun to do a paraprofessional job, not only help teachers, but also help students as well.
Tara: Awesome. How did that go?
Lindsey: I really loved volunteering there. It's been so much fun working with both teachers and students at the same time. Then after the year volunteering, I had five interviews with five rejections.
That was definitely the hardest summer. It just felt like going through school again. I never felt accepted. I just wanted to be normal and be like others. Then I heard that there's this YMCA job. They had employees with differences. So I thought let's try that. My mom had to go with me during the interview and then I finally got my job.
Tara: Okay. That's the kind of place you want to work for, right? I bet your volunteering at the school helped give you some experience that would be helpful at the YMCA, too.
So how long did you work there?
Lindsey: So I worked for two and a half years. I was membership services. I also did kids stuff, so I would play with the kids, read books to them, color with them, and then I would hold babies. It was so much fun. Kids are so fun to be with!
Tara: If you ever want to feel accepted go work with little kids as an adult. They love you no matter what. They think you are the best!
Achievements and Awards
Lindsey: During 2020 and the pandemic I was laid off but I wanted to be out of the house. I needed to work. I needed to keep myself busy.
So all on my own without any of my parents help I searched for jobs, and then saw there was an opening at Target. It was for cashiering, guest advocate. So I applied for that and got an interview. The next day, I had an interview, and I said to them, I have to be honest. I have autism. And they said, “Thank you for sharing. Welcome to Target.”
Tara: Oh, my God. I have goosebumps. Seriously? So you were brave enough to disclose that, and they were like, doesn't matter. We like you. You're good. That's awesome, Lindsey. What do you like about Target?
Lindsey: It's been four years since I started there. As a guest advocate, I handle cashiering, self-checkouts, and organizing funds in the cash office. One of my proudest moments was being Employee of the Month in February 2022.
Winning that award was a dream come true. Growing up, I saw athletes win medals and trophies, but I never did. At 14, I bought myself a Hollywood trophy that said “Person of the Year” to feel accepted. Finally being recognized as Employee of the Month was the best dream come true.
Tara: Not only to be recognized by your employer but publicly recognized like that. And because you are you, and you are good at what you do. My guess is that you're friendly with coworkers and customers.
Lindsey: Thank you. My family and I were testimonial speakers at the Fraser gala in 2021 with an audience of 800 people. Tony, a Target worker, shared our story with CEO Brian, who then shared it with 200 investors in New York City. A month later, Brian visited our Hudson store.
Tara: You're making an impact. Thank you for your work. What was your latest award, Lindsey?
Lindsey: A couple of months ago, I received the 2024 Outstanding Volunteer Award. My HR then nominated me for the Most Valuable Volunteer Award across Target, and I've been selected for that.
Tara: Oh, my gosh. Congratulations! So you went from wanting an award or a trophy to getting several now?
Lindsey: Yeah, I'll take it.
Becoming an Illustrator
Tara: You're just so inspiring, Lindsey. You're also an illustrator. How long have you been interested in that?
Lindsey: Art has been my passion throughout my life. I love to draw almost every day after school. Then it became my gifted talent at the age of 13.
I always wanted to be an illustrator because when I was reading books growing up, I thought it'd be fun to create stories, create pictures in your mind. All of a sudden, after doing this one drawing of Koda the Fluff, that's when I became an illustrator.
Tara: Can you tell us about Koda the Fluff books? Who's Koda and what are they about?
Lindsey: “Koda the Fluff” is a therapy dog who drives a little red car in Florida. She has educational and positive videos. The first book is “Koda the Fluff Gets a Driver's License,” and the second is “Koda the Fluff Gets Towed.” The books and videos are available on social media and the website.
Tara: I love that! You're also part of another book series, right?
The Little Lindsey Series
Lindsey: It is called the Little Lindsey series.
So I wanted to do a children's book series about autism because I wanted to help children and adults of all ages better understand what it's like living with autism. The second book is called Little Lindsey's A Picky Eater. Growing up, there were so many foods I didn't like and I'm really sensitive about the smell, the look, the taste of it. The third book is Little Lindsey Makes a Friend. So that's part of growing up.
The fourth book that's out pretty soon is Little Lindsey Goes to Therapy, a sibling story, and my sister Brittany is involved in that. I'm really happy because I know all siblings are affected by their siblings with special needs or autism and they can be left out or excluded. I thought that's very important for everyone to be included.
Tara: Yeah. That is such a great topic for a book. All of those topics. That's so important because I know a lot of parents, families, you know, they do feel kind of isolated. When you were talking about when Lindsey was young, not being able to bring her out places and how to talk to siblings, how to talk to family members, all of that are real challenges that families face. I think it's great that you're writing about it.
Lindsey, is there anything else we didn't cover that you wanted to add?
Lindsey: So the reason I wanted to write a family story is I want to help people better understand and educate them. I want to help others living with autism not go through what I went through.
Tara: The hard parts.
Lindsey: Yes.
Tara: I wonder if there's one thing you could tell teenagers, neurotypical teenagers, what would you tell them so that they don't bully or treat people the way that you were treated?
Lindsey: Choose kindness. And if you ever watched the movie Bambi, remember the advice. If you don't say something nice, say nothing at all.
Tara: That's a perfect way to end our conversation. Thank you, both of you, for being such positive lights in this world.
Connect With Lindsey
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/autismlm_morelandstory/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AustismLM
Website: https://autismlm.com/
Video of Lindsey’s work at Target
Watch the interview here:
Or listen to the podcast version: Episode 76
If you use visual supports in your classroom or home, you are going to want to sign up for this free Visual Supports Starter Set ASAP! Click here to have one sent to your inbox. Also, be sure to read more about visual supports and how they can help autistic children here.
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