Today, I’m honored to introduce Christina from Twinning with Autism, a passionate advocate and mom of three autistic children. Christina brings authenticity, humor, and compassion to her family’s journey, offering invaluable insights into parenting, advocacy, and navigating life with autism.
We explore her experiences raising twin boys diagnosed at just 18 months, her own journey as a self-diagnosed autistic adult, and the powerful lessons she’s learned about fostering acceptance and understanding. Christina’s story highlights the importance of connection, the challenges of advocacy, and the joy of embracing neurodiversity.
Join us for a heartfelt conversation that will leave you inspired to build a more inclusive world for autistic individuals. Let’s dive in!
Navigating Autism As A Mom: Personal Stories and Family Dynamics
Tara: Social media has become a lifeline for many families navigating autism. Did your journey with sharing start when your twins were diagnosed?
Christina: Yes, it did. When Jack and Luca were diagnosed, we knew very little about autism, and parenting twins alone was a challenge! Back then, Instagram wasn’t the platform it is today, and we didn’t have access to the storytelling and real-life glimpses it offers now. If I’d had those connections earlier, it would have made such a difference for our family. The ability to connect with other parents has been both empowering and comforting for us.
Tara: That’s amazing. Can you tell us more about your family?
Christina: Absolutely. My wife, Steph, and I have three autistic children—our twin boys, Jack and Luca, who just turned nine, and our daughter, Alex, who’s six. It’s a house full of big emotions and energy! I also discovered my own autism diagnosis while getting our daughter evaluated, which has changed how I parent and relate to my kids. Sharing our journey has been such a powerful experience for us.
Understanding Autism: Diagnosis and Self-Discovery
Tara: Last year, a former high school classmate reached out after receiving an unexpected autism diagnosis at 53. He initially sought help for ADHD and mental health concerns, but his autism diagnosis brought immense validation as he revisited his past. He reflected on struggles like being held back in school and quirks like his watch collection and love for Volkswagen buses. It was fascinating to hear his story of embracing his identity as an autistic adult.
Christina: Validation is such a powerful word. Growing up without a diagnosis can feel confusing—knowing something’s different but not understanding what.
When our twins were diagnosed at 18 months, we were initially defensive when a friend suggested they may be missing milestones. We chalked it up to twin behavior and sleep deprivation, but we decided to get them evaluated. At the appointment, we realized we didn’t even know what milestones to expect as first-time parents.
I cried when we got the diagnosis—not out of sadness, but fear of the unknown. My wife, however, stayed calm. That first year post-diagnosis was the hardest. We juggled twins with contrasting needs—one a runner with audio sensitivity, the other loud and vocal—while navigating pregnancy with our daughter, Alex, who arrived amid the chaos of COVID. The pandemic disrupted their routine and progress, making it even tougher.
Later, as I researched autism in girls, I began recognizing signs in Alex that mirrored her brothers, though less outwardly expressive. We pursued evaluations, which were challenging, but eventually confirmed her diagnosis.
This experience led me to advocate for early diagnosis, especially for girls, who are often overlooked. Research shows undiagnosed autistic girls are more likely to face mental health challenges like eating disorders, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. Sharing our story is about encouraging parents to seek support early, overcome pride, and ensure their kids thrive. We mix advocacy with humor in our feed because autism is a journey of both tears and joy.
Tara: I love memes because they bring humor to hard situations, like the challenges we face as educators in the classroom. Humor helps us connect and cope. But shifting gears, what you said about autistic girls is so important. For years, it wasn’t talked about—how girls present differently. We used to just accept that boys were four times more likely to be autistic.
Advocacy for Autistic Girls: Breaking the Silence
Christina: Exactly. And since the pandemic, more information has come to light about autistic girls. For example, my diagnosis story illustrates this. I checked nearly every box for autism except one, but that one difference didn’t mean I wasn’t autistic. Girls often mask their symptoms, making them harder to identify.
Tara: Right, masking is a big issue. Girls often seem more “typical” because they can perform socially, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling internally. For instance, many autistic girls experience anxiety and push themselves to meet others' expectations. This leads to harmful outcomes, especially when they go unsupported into adulthood.
Christina: Absolutely. I see this with my daughter. She’ll have a “great” day at school, but when she gets home, she has a meltdown. That’s because she’s been performing all day, meeting others' needs instead of her own. If a six-year-old can express how exhausting that is, it’s clear we need to help these girls early—teaching them strategies to manage their needs and reduce the pressure to perform.
Tara: That makes so much sense. I think all educators can relate to being completely drained after a long day. For me, during back-to-school season, I’d come home, wrap myself in a blanket, and need an hour to decompress. Now imagine feeling that way every single day as an autistic girl.
Christina: Exactly, and many autistic girls don’t have the tools to regulate themselves. Without early support, they grow up in a constant state of anxiety, which isn’t healthy for their well-being or relationships. Schools can help by incorporating breaks and mindfulness strategies to lessen the load on these students.
Co-Regulation: Supporting Emotional Needs in Children
Tara: Yes! I recently spoke with Sarah Habib from the Calm Caterpillar, who’s doing amazing work introducing regulation strategies into schools. These aren’t just for autistic kids—they benefit all students. Post-pandemic, we’ve seen so much more dysregulation in schools, and teaching kids how to manage it is crucial.
Christina: As parents, we need to reframe meltdowns. When our kids are dysregulated around us, it’s not because they’re mad or we’re bad parents. Instead, we’re their safe space. In those moments, ask yourself: Do they need love, guidance, or help figuring out their needs? This shift helped us parent better—realizing our role isn’t to mold them into who we want, but to meet them where they are and help them thrive.
Tara: That’s so important. In classrooms, I’ve heard people imply kids are “spoiled” at home because of their behavior, as if stricter discipline is the solution. But we need to move away from that old-school mindset and offer grace. When we understand behaviors, we can respond with compassion, not judgment.
Christina: Exactly. Understanding doesn’t excuse behavior; it helps us support kids better. Neurodiverse kids, especially, aren’t developmentally ready to self-regulate fully. They need space to grow and learn without being forced into adult expectations.
Tara: This ties to the idea of co-regulation. Kids, especially young ones, can’t self-regulate without support. Visual routines—like “sniff the flower, blow out the candle”—help them practice calming strategies naturally. These playful, predictable approaches foster independence over time.
Christina: We’ve used that technique, and it’s amazing. For kids who don’t understand “take a deep breath,” activities like blowing bubbles or smelling a flower work because they make regulation fun and intuitive.
Tara: Exactly! Co-regulation looks different for each child. Some need hugs; others might just need you to sit calmly nearby. And sometimes, the best thing adults can do is stop talking and just be present.
Understanding and Supporting Autistic Children
Tara: How can parents and educators best support autistic children in their emotional regulation?
Christina: It's important to let kids feel their emotions and express themselves in ways that are meaningful to them. For example, if a child needs to stim, let them stim—as long as they're safe and not hurting others. Stimming is a way for them to self-regulate, and stopping them without offering alternatives sends a mixed message. It tells them their coping methods are wrong, which is frustrating when you're trying to teach self-regulation.
As parents, we learned to adapt. With twin boys—one sensitive to sounds and the other a vocal stimmer—it often felt chaotic. Our focus shifted to keeping them safe and giving them what they needed, even if that meant separating them to decompress or skipping family events that were overwhelming. Accepting their needs over societal expectations brought us peace.
Tara: In education, we also need to respect parents' capacities. Strategies like visual schedules may work at school but might not suit every family. Instead of pushing solutions, offer support when parents are ready. Kids can learn to navigate different environments, so it's okay if their routines vary between home and school. Grace is key.
Building Trust with Educators
Tara: How can professionals build trust with families?
Christina: Respect parents' efforts and meet them where they are. Most are doing their best, even if their approaches differ. For instance, my son has ARFID and eats only a few foods due to sensory issues. While professionals may encourage a more varied diet, understanding his needs builds trust and creates room for growth. Shaming only erodes that trust.
Tara: Trust starts with respecting the child. Focus on building safety, regulation, and a trusting relationship at school. Academic skills can follow, but the foundation of trust and emotional security will have the most lasting impact.
Effective Communication Between Parents and Schools
Tara: Challenges, like regressions or behavioral shifts, often feel overwhelming in the moment. But with time and support, these phases usually pass. Looking back, you'll likely see growth and progress. For example, one of my former students still trick-or-treats at my house every year. He’s grown tremendously but remains authentically himself.
Our ultimate goal should be to honor how children communicate, help them feel safe, and build trust. Those are the skills that truly support them for life.
Christina: Building trust with your child’s team is crucial. If they trust you, they’ll let you truly see them, which helps you advocate for the strategies they need to thrive.
When working with schools, I find it helpful to send a detailed packet at the beginning of the year about my child—both from their perspective and mine as a parent. This helps new teams get to know them quickly and avoid safety or behavioral misunderstandings. Documentation is key. For instance, I keep essential details, like safety risks or past challenges, in the IEP even if they’ve been resolved. That way, future teams have a clear history.
I'm also upfront about my role: I’m here to collaborate, but I’ll fiercely advocate for my kids if necessary. Being honest, involved, and consistent has helped build positive relationships with educators, which benefits my children.
For IEPs, it’s vital to include real-world safety concerns, like protocols for drills, alongside academic goals. For example, we worked with the school to add practice drills for my child to ensure safety during emergencies. These details can make a huge difference in keeping everyone safe.
Tara: I love your idea about creating a “child profile” at the start of the year. It helps teams understand a child’s triggers, interests, and potential challenges upfront. I also agree with keeping key information in the IEP, even if it’s no longer a daily issue, for the sake of continuity.
Christina: Ultimately, parents know their child best. Educators need to work with parents to translate their insights into actionable strategies. While parents may not always communicate in “educational” terms, their input is invaluable. With kindness and persistence, you can find common ground to help the child succeed.
The Importance of Compassion in Education
Tara: Trusting parents is crucial because, more often than not, their insights are accurate. I had a case where a mother insisted her child could trace letters at home, even though we hadn’t seen it at school. Instead of dismissing her, we asked for specifics, and it turned out that the child could indeed trace letters when using a whiteboard with dry-erase markers. This showed us how essential it is to listen and learn from parents’ experiences and apply those insights in the classroom.
Christina: Yes, I had a teacher who didn’t see the signs of autism in my daughter, even though I repeatedly shared them. One day, I suggested the teacher break the routine to see if it would trigger certain behaviors. When the teacher finally saw it firsthand, she was apologetic and admitted she hadn’t trusted me. I appreciate the apology, but I urged her to listen to parents’ insights next time. It’s all about working together and understanding that we all bring valuable perspectives.
Hope for the Future of Autism Awareness
Tara: What is your hope for the future regarding autism in schools and communities?
Christina: I hope we see more inclusive classrooms that promote compassion and understanding. It’s not just about changing things in the classroom but in society as a whole. When children experience compassion, they grow up to be more empathetic adults. We need to stop judging behaviors we don’t understand and start accommodating differences, just as we do for other disabilities like deafness or blindness. My hope is for a future where neurodivergence is accepted, not shamed, and where everyone is treated with grace.
Tara: I remember when my daughter was in elementary school, we worked hard to teach her peers about autism. It was amazing to see how, when she went to middle school, her classmates from her old school stood up for autistic peers, explaining their behaviors in a compassionate way. This kind of understanding is what I hope becomes more widespread. It shows how inclusion and awareness can shape positive interactions for years to come
Connect With Christina
Tara: Where can people find more information about your work and experiences, Christina?
Christina: You can find me on Instagram at Twinningwithautism and on my website, twinningwithautism.com. I also have a blog with stories from my younger years that continue to help parents raising young children. Feel free to send me DMs or emails—I’m always happy to chat and offer advice.
Listen to the Podcast: Episode 99
Watch the Interview here:
Episode 66: Navigating The Autism Diagnosis
Navigating The Autism Diagnosis with Amber Arrington
Visual Supports For Autistic Girls: 3 Tips
Episode 28: Realities From An Autism Mom: Distraught To Determined!
If you use visual supports in your classroom or home, you are going to want to sign up for this free Visual Supports Starter Set ASAP! Click here to have one sent to your inbox. Also, be sure to read more about visual supports and how they can help autistic children here.
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