When Alex Lamoreaux started sharing her story on TikTok, she wasn’t expecting it to resonate so deeply with other parents. But as an autism mom raising two autistic sons—and navigating a late-in-life autism diagnosis herself—her honesty struck a chord.
In this conversation, Alex opens up about the emotional rollercoaster of discovering she’s a mom with autism, the overwhelming amount of advice online, and what finally helped her shift from panic to empowerment in her parenting journey.
Meeting Alex
Tara: I’m talking with someone who really caught my attention on TikTok—Alex Lamoreaux. Alex is an autism mom raising three boys, two of whom are autistic, and she recently discovered she’s autistic herself. Welcome, Alex!
Alex: Thanks so much for having me, Tara. I’m excited to be here.
Life as a Mom With Autism
Tara: Let's start with a little bit about your background. Can you tell us about that?
Alex: Yes, so I have three boys, they are eight, five, and two. They keep us on our toes and I'm married to my husband Justin. We've been married for 11 years. My oldest and youngest boys are both autistic, and my middle child is neurotypical. Life is definitely busy!
Tara: And you’re also a therapist, right?
Alex: Yes, I’m a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW). I chose that path because I’ve always been drawn to advocacy—especially for people who often go unheard. That’s a big part of who I am.
A Diagnosis That Changed Everything
Tara: Let’s talk about your own diagnosis. What led you to pursue an autism evaluation?
Alex: After both of my kids were diagnosed, I started noticing patterns in myself that mirrored theirs. I looked back at my childhood—how I struggled with sensory input, how I always felt “different”—and decided to explore it further. I ended up being diagnosed with autism level one. It was a big moment of clarity.
Tara: What were some things that made sense in hindsight?
Alex: Oh, so many. Sensory issues were a huge one. Like, I can't stand having dry hands after washing—I need lotion immediately or I can't think. And riding in the car as a kid was overwhelming. I'd plug my ears, rock back and forth, and even lash out verbally when the noise got too intense. I didn't know how to explain what I was experiencing, and my family just thought I was being difficult.
Breaking Stereotypes About Autism
Tara: That’s something I’ve heard from other late-diagnosed adults too—it’s like everything clicks into place.
Alex: Yes! And I think we’re starting to recognize how diverse autism is. It’s not one-size-fits-all. People look at me and say, “You don’t look autistic.” But what does that even mean? There’s no one way autism looks. Some people need a lot of support; others, not as much. It’s a neurological difference—not something that always shows on the outside.
From Frantic to Focused: Shifting Out of Panic Mode
Tara: You’ve spoken really openly about shifting from panic to empowerment in your parenting. What was that journey like?
Alex: It was intense. When my oldest son started having challenges, I went into overdrive. I was up late every night researching, trying supplements, reading every blog post, following every expert. I was desperate to help him and avoid the kind of suffering I had growing up. But in doing so, I burned myself out—and the stress was seeping into everything at home.
Tara: That’s so relatable for so many parents.
Alex: Absolutely. And what’s wild is that the more frantic I got, the more dysregulated he got. I had to step back and realize, my gut already knew what he needed. But I was drowning in outside voices and forgot to listen to myself.
Comparing Two Diagnoses: Same Label, Different Needs
Tara: You’ve also talked about how different your two autistic kids are.
Alex: Totally. My oldest has a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile. He was super verbal early on and could hold a full-on debate at 18 months. I never thought autism. It looked like anxiety or maybe ODD. His diagnosis didn’t come until he was seven.
Tara: And your youngest?
Alex: Very different presentation. Delayed speech, head banging, clear sensory indicators from the start. So we clocked that much earlier. It really opened my eyes to how different autistic traits can look—even in the same family.
The Noise Online and Learning to Mute It
Tara: There’s so much noise online. How did you learn to filter what was helpful and what wasn’t?
Alex: Honestly, I hit a wall. I realized I was following accounts that made me feel panicked—like I had to do everything right now. I unfollowed a bunch of those and focused on sources that felt empowering instead of fear-based.
Now, if I hear something that piques my interest, I write it down and do a deeper dive—books, research, or trusted providers. I don’t just follow trends anymore.
When Professionals Miss the Mark
Tara: You mentioned earlier that your son was recently diagnosed with PANS. How did that diagnosis come about?
Alex: That was a whole journey. I kept feeling like we were missing something. His behaviors went beyond autism—there was something medical going on. But every time I brought it up, doctors brushed me off.
Eventually, I found a specialist in New York who diagnosed him with PANS. It was a validating but heartbreaking moment. All of the struggles, all of the chaos—it wasn’t just behavioral. It was medical. And I’d been dismissed again and again for months.
Tara: That’s such an important reminder for parents. Trust your instincts.
Alex: Exactly. One psychiatrist even told me, “You look like the anxiety character from Inside Out.” He told me to calm down. And I get it, I was anxious. But I was anxious because no one was listening, and I knew something was wrong. That moment made me realize: never let someone gaslight you out of your own experience.
Building Self-Trust and Stronger Advocacy
Tara: How has this whole journey—your diagnosis, your sons', the PANS diagnosis- changed how you show up for your kids?
Alex: I understand them in a way I don’t think I could have without this journey. I give them language to describe their experiences, tools I wish I had. And I trust myself now. That took time. I had to learn that I don’t need a professional to validate what I already know in my gut.
And I want other parents to know: advocacy is hard, and it’s emotional. Especially when you’re constantly second-guessing yourself or being second-guessed by others. But that muscle gets stronger every time you use it. And your child benefits from every time you choose to speak up.
Tara: That’s such a gift to give your kids.
Alex: It really is. But it’s also been a learning curve—figuring out how to advocate while also learning not to abandon myself in the process. Advocacy is a muscle you build over time.
Final Advice for Other Parents
Tara: For the parents listening who feel overwhelmed, what would you say to them?
Alex: Get quiet. Really quiet. Step away from the noise if it’s making you panic. You don’t have to do everything. And you certainly don’t have to do everything all at once.
Your child needs you, imperfect, intuitive, present you. That is enough. And if something doesn’t sit right, keep going until you find someone who listens. Your instincts matter more than someone else’s credentials.
Where to Find Alex
Tara: That’s so beautifully said. Alex, thank you so much for sharing your story today.
Alex: Thank you, Tara. I’m grateful to be here.
Follow Alex on TikTok
Listen to the Podcast Episode #127
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